Cold hands, warm shart.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I smell like Dick and happiness
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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