I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
