i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
