Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
