don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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