I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
