He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
