I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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