I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
