a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
