Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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