i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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