just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
