he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
