oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
We need to get me chipped asap
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
