You're completely useless in the revolution.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
