just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
