They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
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