check it out our google latitudes are spooning
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
