so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I licked your asshole in confidence.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
