he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
