Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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