Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
