I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
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