I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
