Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
