Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
