so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
