Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
