I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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