It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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