Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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