My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
