Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
