Pants 0. Shit 1.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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