Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
