Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
