i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
