Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Randomize
