I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
