I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
