Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
