Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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