Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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