Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
