David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
