I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
