Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
