i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
