Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
