therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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