Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
